growing up and ageing

So this year I turn 30. And as much as I think it does not bother me, I realise it does.

1. Growing up

Back in January I bumped a car in front of me. In that instant right after I hit the car, there I was, shocked in my seat that I had actually misjudged the combination of (distance ahead between the car in front and mine+my speed+awareness of traffic in front of me) and braked too late. A second later, there was an overwhelming gratitude that my passengers and I were unhurt (but what about the people in the car I hit?). As that thought was passing I was already stepping out of the car, annoyed at myself for making such an unnecessary mistake – a mistake that caused a queue of traffic behind me. As I walked to the other driver, who also had stepped out of his car, I was filled with anguish that I had inconvenienced him as well. We talked, I apologised, exchanged details and then as we drove off, I panicked at how much it was going to cost me.

I was stoic through the whole experience. And on the way to the car workshop, my companions asked a barrage of (practical) questions such as What does my insurance policy cover? Do I know an agent I can call?

I was only given the chance to absorb the whole shock of the incident at least two hours later – after I have sent the car to the workshop, given the insurance company a call, reported the incident to assessors, called for a cab and transported myself to a cafe for a drink.

It was then I realised I was on my own. No daddy to step in to talk to the driver and call the insurance company. No mummy to give me a glass of water to calm me from the shock. I had to instantly take action and responsibility for a mistake I made. I could only wish I could apologise to the driver for hitting him, apologise to everyone on the expressway for stalling their afternoon, and then go home and seek the comfort of my mother before asking their advice on what to do next. But sadly I no longer had that luxury!

In the days that ensued, I had to deal with the steps of ‘reconciling my driving mistake’ (ie. claiming insurance). I have no interest in terms such as  ”excess amount” and “no claim discount”, but I had no choice – and I learnt that they are dreadful and agonising.

The experience made me feel like Adulthood was just sitting in a far corner, watching me screw up and sniggering at how I get myself out of the mess I made all by myself.

When did “growing up” end? How dare Adulthood take me without parental consent?

2. Ageing

If “growing up” has ended for me, is “ageing” the term I should use now for all of my years going by?

I start to think about my life graph. The graph inclines rapidly and excitedly for the first 30 years of my life, and then what? How do I continue that curve? In terms of life events to look forward to, what else is there for me to give me reason to continue that incline? Or do I draw a straight line to indicate status quo? Or worse, do I have to draw a decline? (Really?)

In other words, I worry that I am at the cusp of my life. That in years to come life does not get any more exciting for me than this. I know motherhood is definitely a life event to look forward to, but will I be lucky enough to have the privilege? I pray I do. But the grandness of motherhood is, I think, and I want to believe, that I will dedicate every ounce of myself to my child/children. And when I readily do that, what will become of me? The essence of me. Will I still live for myself? Or will I live for my child/children? Will I be able to pick up the bass? (so that I can drop the bass, ‘mon) Will it be selfish then if I were to invest in myself – for instance, giving a shot at owning and running a cafe (a business that is all too likely to fail) instead of saving for my children’s university fund?

So you see, turning 30 is affecting me more than I care to admit. Maybe I have stated it in my previous blog entry, but I must reiterate that I’m not done with youth yet. I feel like I’m still 24 on the inside, and there is still more “growing up” to look forward to, rather than “ageing”.

It’s like, “growing up” is a phase of discovery, filled with ‘first time’ experiences like getting your first bonus (and getting excited about it), buying your first luxury item (and getting excited about it), producing a really awesome set of powerpoint slides (and getting excited about it)… basically getting a profuse sense of elation at all the firsts in life.

“Ageing”, however, has a sickening “you should have already known it” sneer about it. Finding a great price deal for a set of tyres for the car? Peeled an onion without crying? Made an informed decision about the choice of light bulbs (fluorescent vs LED) to use in the home? SO WHAT? Ugh, so dampening!

I know this will loom over me, so I guess I’ll just have to face it and deal with it as days go by…

—

On a happier note, I have decided that I want to get my blogging game back on. Despite the rarity of me writing nowadays, blogging gives me a pleasure no other hobby can. So watch out for more depressing posts on my post-quarter-life crisis!

Yeay!

photos in the laptop

It has been so long since I wrote anything here that I’m afraid I may have lost my writing mo-jo! So this entry is an attempt to see if I still have any sort of writing ability… But more so because I am at home alone while the husband’s out working on a new TV show, and I have absolutely no desire to do anything much today. I am actually pretty hungry but unfortunately there is no food and no motivation (to get food) at home right now. What I do have though, are lots of photos in the laptop. So hopefully, these photos will inspire a read-worthy blog post.

1.

My ‘arm swag’ (I hate myself for even using that term) for the day. This set of bangles was my first purchase from Dazzle Shazzle, which is an online accessories store started by my best friend, Parvin. Between my last blog post and this one, her husband and her have moved into their own BTO flat, which was gorgeously renovated. It is quite surreal that we have brought our coffee sessions from Starbucks to our own homes now. Late night conversations over homemade kopi and teh at our own dining tables are just wayy more comfortable because we can be in our spectacles and old t-shirts and there won’t be any hipsters or cool kids judging us.

2.

 

I saw this in a DVD store in Kuala Lumpur. B-grade movies with suspiciously sensational titles – recipe for trashy story lines and terrible special effects but guaranteed hilarious just because they are that bad (see also: Piranha 3DD). Raihan and I did not buy this DVD, though we had a great time pigging out during the weekend we were in KL. Seriously, it was like we were on a rampage, eating a meal, grabbing a snack, enjoying desserts, then oh, time for the next meal! It was crazy and I cannot wait for another trip there!

3.

 

I bought a really cute vintage suitcase from Joanne’s Vintage, I decided to put up a small station in my home for children to enjoy when they visit. The suitcase has a candy machine that was filled with old school coconut milk sweets, peanut candy and preserved plums. There are also assemble-yourself foam planes and birds, blow-yourself ‘bubble balloons’ and paper footballs. The kids of this generation have never seen any of these items before, and I am quite disappointed generally, they do not seem to like these toys as much as we did when we were young! Of course they prefer their iPads…

4.

 

This was a photo (that does not belong to me) that a friend sent to a baker as inspiration for his daughter’s birthday cake. The result he got?

!!! Seriously, man. I feel terrible for my friend and his daughter. And the thing is, my friend was trying to support the baker, who is home-based. If the baker knew she could not exactly replicate the design, she should not have even attempted to do it! So angry!

5.

I love the fairy lights I put up for Eid, and till today, I switch them on every night. Oh! The other day I was mopping the floor and I was trying to pull away some wires in the corner so that the mop can reach the crevices under the furniture, and I got a nasty electric shock! Why? Cos ok, I was silly enough to hold on to the wires where they were bare, but why were they bare in the first place?! Cos my scumbag of a rabbit bit off the rubber casing! Argghhh. The shock caused a small burn on my palm.

6.

And here he is. Guilty as charged. (Why so serious, Toffee? Don’t like being held up? Huh, huh?) Toffee and Raihan are boys through and through… They only know how to eat and sleep and make a mess, and they of course depend on me to make sure I clean up after them. But of course in exchange I get lots of laughs and cuddles. Our family photo:

7.

 

Recent months were good months for Raihan. Last December, Singapore Film Commission awarded him a $250,000 grant to produce his first feature film. And Papahan Films received Drama Khas Terbaik at Pesta Perdana 12 (2013), amongst other awards. Alhamdulillah for these but the pressure is now on for him to get his film, Banting!, into production soon! And it must be the greatest of his works yet!

8.

 

This was at my 29th birthday celebration (don’t believe the candles) last October. Many have commented that in this photo, my dear niece, Hannah, looks exactly like me. That is great news for her then, haha! But seriously, she and her twin brother, Rezza, are growing up so fast! They are turning 4 this year, so you can imagine the funny conversations I have with them. Somehow, this little girl has an affinity for cockroaches! She would look at a cockroach and call it “Sweetie!”. The other day I showed her clips from Joe’s Apartment and she loved it!

9.

 

Here is a snapshot from a Christmas party we threw in the office last year. I have recently left the organisation and joined another. It’s only been a week into my new job and I do miss these kids. As a farewell to me, they organised a dinner at a Turkish restaurant and we had a blast sheesha-ing after! I am looking forward to the next time we meet, hopefully at the end of April. Plus a bunch of us are planning a KL weekend trip, so that’ll be exciting!

10.

Raihan and I experienced our first Chinese New Year reunion dinner this year! My brother’s girlfriend’s family so kindly invited us over and we were shocked at the amount of food they prepared! And God it was delicious! Her family was really warm and welcoming and it was so memorable, I am already looking forward to the next CNY.

So there you go! 10 moments shared with you guys, just to serve as a catch-up on this dusty blog. I cannot believe I took 4 hours to complete this entry. Of course in between were many sessions of going back to bed to smell my pillows, getting distracted by the Internet and playing with Toffee… I am really hungry now and I sense gastric pains coming soon, but I am so tempted to take a nap to just ignore the hunger. Wow I am lazy today!

 

what is next?

It’s been awhile since I blogged. To say I have been busy will be too convenient. To say I have been lazy will only be half honest. The other half of the truth is that… I am beginning to think that there is not much for me to blog about anymore.

This blog started out as a journal for me to jot down my wedding planning ideas, and then came anecdotes of being newlyweds, and soon ideas of home decor came pouring in, then the actual renovation work happened and finally the transition from house to home was documented. Over the three years that I have kept this blog, amazing things have come my way. Media coverage, features in a couple of websites and magazines, and most recently I got invited to be a Media Partner for a brand of dream kitchen appliances!

Well if I am getting (positive) attention from the media, then surely I have been doing something right here. But really, what kind of blog is this now? How do I categorise it?

I definitely am not planning another wedding! And I must admit I am biased to my own interests. I was interested in weddings only when I was getting married. Now? Not so much. So it’s pretty safe to say that wedding planning will not be the focus of this blog anymore…

Home decor? Now that my home is pretty much filled with furniture and whatnot, there is barely space to add more items. Hence I have stopped looking at furniture, knick knacks and other home accessories, save for the rare occasion something catches my eye…

And what about wedded life? It has been two years since we got married. Raihan and I are immersed in the roles of husband and wife, respectively. We know what we are supposed to do for each other, to make the other happy. And there are moments when we do know that we ought to argue things out in order to make things better. I would like to blog about marriage sometimes, but it is too personal. What I may find amusing may not appeal to a reader, so I would rather save the amusement to myself.

What is next then for Raihan and Sofia? What do I write about next to keep this blog alive?

I am as clueless as you are. I do not know our future, but I do know our plans. And building a family is not in the near future for us.

Not get me wrong, we both love children. I have names prepared for my future daughter and son (yes, ideally girl first, then boy, please). I have also planned on using certain parenting methods on my children.

But before all that happens, I just happen to be so in love with the life I have now. And thankfully, Raihan is exactly on the same page as I am.

We are both comfortable in a home that is ours - which means we are free to come home anytime we want, fill the space up with anything we choose, eat anything we prefer and invite who we like. The only pressure we face is when the place gets so dirty and one of us (not necessarily me) insists that the home is in a state too embarrassing to live in.

Alhamdulillah, we both earn enough to be free to spend and save for our home and ourselves. We are loan-free, which is always a great fact for anyone. We spend guilt-free on people we love and buying things we enjoy.

To sum it up, we are enjoying ourselves too much being selfish. It’s all and only us in the lifestyle we lead now. No need to worry about anyone else. (That being said, of course we are responsible towards our family members and our bunny!) We are having so much fun, we feel youthful, juvenile even.

And with youth, you never want the fun to stop. And this is exactly why I feel restless now. What is next for me? For us? If a baby is not in the picture for now, will it be our careers that take a turn? Just last Friday, Raihan received the BIGGEST news of his life that will change his career, insya Allah. Will fate/rezeki lead us overseas? With spare money in the bank, should we go far and wide and travel ourselves crazy? What should we do?

See, with this much excitement in the cards, I cannot help but to just max out each day and fill it to the brim with fun, rather than… I don’t know? Blogging?

But this bring us back to the beginning right? Since blogging has done me good, what do I write about again?

eid mubarak

Last year, Raihan and I spent our first Ramadhan  together, by mostly being not together. He was in the middle of production, so we barely got the chance to break fast together. And then we celebrated our first Eid! He only had a day or two to celebrate Hari Raya so we tried to make the most out of it. I wished that situations were frendlier towards his chances of having a non-strenuous Ramadhan and a family-centric Aidilfitri, but still, Alhamdulillah, we had a joyous first Eid celebration as husband and wife!

This year, it was completely the same. Raihan embarked on his third consecutive production just around the beginning of Ramadhan. So he was busy throughout the holy month, only making it home a handful of nights. It was a pity because this year is our first year celebrating Aidilfitri in our own home, so it would have been extra blissful for me if scrubbing the home, rearranging furniture, buying last minute frivolous necessary home accessories and putting up fairy lights were not accomplished all by myself!

But we should never take rezeki for granted! And when time is not a luxury, we try to spend every precious second in the most joyous and meaningful way!

Salam Lebaran to all! Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

for sale: preloved furniture

Following my previous post about the awesome finds you can find on various sale/auction sites, a certain seller approached me to feature some of the furniture that her family is letting go. She too, has already featured her furniture on Craigslist, and she hopes that maybe some of you readers may be interested too.

Here are her charming furniture pieces for sale:

1. Solid Wood Coffee Table SOLD!

$50

Condition: 7/10, slight scratches at the side.

2. Solid Wood Side Table SOLD!

$60

Condition: 9/10

3. Solid Wood Chairs SOLD!

$40 each, $70 for a pair

Condition: 5/10, slight scratches

4. Solid 3-seater Wooden Bench SOLD!

$100

Condition: 9/10

5. Teak Wood Coffee Table STILL AVAILABLE!

$100

Condition: 8/10, slight marks on leg

If interested, please SMS Hana at 81516741. Buyers should arrange own transport for collection.

one man’s trash is another’s treasure

You must be familiar by now that in the process of putting together our home, Raihan and I turned to buying second-hand furniture. These preloved furniture now stand proudly in our living area and bedrooms and we too, are proud of them because they are truly unique and I bought them at unbelievable prices.

Now that I have gotten into the groove of buying second-hand furniture, it got me thinking: why shouldn’t you too? Take a look at sites such as Ebay, Craigslist and Gumtree and you’ll be surprised at the vast range of furniture types that are sold and how affordable they are! Seriously, some expats are in such urgent need to move out of the country that they are willing to let go of their stuff for FREE.

Take a look at some furniture that have been featured on Ebay, Craigslist and Gumtree that have been offered for below $550. Most, if not all, of these items have been sold already.

Pardon the bias towards French-style furniture… It’s only because they are so stylish and pretty! And it totally fits a Shabby Chic theme:

See? Where in Singapore can you find first hand furniture in this style to achieve a shabby chic home without burning a hole in your wallet?! Plus, you will be doing the world a GREAT favour by recycling. Seriously, can you see these furniture pieces being dumped? It’ll be a crime!  I’m sure the furniture above have made their new owners so happy!

Be assured that there are many, many other styles of furniture that are up for offer. If you have grouses about the condition of pre-owned furniture and whether they are ‘creepy’, many sellers out there welcome you to view the furniture to see if you really, really like it.

So next time you are thinking of giving your home or room a makeover, do consider recycling other people’s preloved furniture because what is trash to them can certainly be treasure for your home!

Photo credits: I do not own any of the photos featured in this post.

featured on crib.sg!

Looks like our vintage home decor is catching the eye of more than just enthusiasts! Our home first got featured in The Straits Times and now, our home has the honour of being the Featured Crib on Crib.sg!

First and foremost, here’s a little introduction about the website. Founded by 2 Singaporeans, Crib.sg’s tagline is Home Ideas, For Free. Instantly you know that it is the library for all things related to home decor inspiration, design tips and solutions for you to achieve the perfect home – absolutely free! One of the things I love most about the website is that there is a DIY category! You know, I groaned about how there are limited DIY home projects previously in this earlier post, but Crib.sg proved me wrong! Take a peek at the site and you’ll find DIY projects such as…

Converting an old microwave oven into a book rack….

…. and a wall calendar!

So back to the Featured Crib of the week: our home! Many thanks to Kenneth Mah for the awesome write-up!

Click over to www.crib.sg to check it out!